Last week marked the 10 year anniversary of the “phone call” that changed everything for me. Receiving the diagnosis of Fragile X for Dillon was heart shattering. Every year at this time, I feel sad and lonely. It’s like I’m on this emotional roller coaster and I can’t get off. Anyway, I found myself in front of my computer with tears running down my face; sharing my feelings on Facebook. Yes, Facebook! Just a few minutes later, I received a message from Pastor Dave Arndt at St. John’s Lutheran in Two Rivers, Wisconsin. His message and thoughts touched my heart. This is what he wrote….
Dear Jackie -
One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 139. Tough, old King David shares his recipe for sleep when assaulted with all kind of unpleasant memories. “How precious to me are your thoughts, O God, were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.” My mom used to wipe all the glass in the house minutes after the grandkids left. Eventually, she ended up letting the fingerprints remain – they were pleasant memories rather than something to be wiped away.
I imagine the turning point for you and anniversaries like this one, will be to do the same. Count the fingerprints of God since that day – the days He lifted you and your family up, the days He taught you to rely on His strength and not yours, the thoughts and plans of God that brought you to a point in your life today where you can humbly share His grace and power to a rapt audience. When David started counting those blessings, he never finished. He fell asleep in the arms of the God who had blessed him and wasn’t about to leave his side. David continued, ” … and when I awake, I am still with you.”
I can’t imagine what you’ve been through – but I know that the two of us share the ability to fall asleep and face each new day – just like King David did. Thank God those “fingerprints” still exist to bring us back to the cross, and sleep as only his children can. God bless.
How comforting! I started to think about the fingerprints that we’ve received since that phone call and there are too many to count. I wanted to share this with you because we all have our marked days, don’t we? So, I hope that when you become sad, lonely and start to question things, may you see God’s fingerprints in your life and His unfailing love for you.