“You always have a smile on your face!” or “How can you be happy all the time?” are questions that I sometimes get asked. And honestly, I really never knew how to respond because I am really NOT happy all the time. There are only a few days were I feel good or am truly happy; however, I do feel very joyful and I can experience joy in every life situation.
On September 27th, 2001 my life changed significantly. It was the day that I found out that my son Dillon has Fragile X Syndrome and from that day forward, my life has taken a detour. A detour from the road that I had envisioned being on to the road that God wants me to be on.
This “re-direction” was full of suffering. I have felt so alone, scared, helpless, uneducated and vulnerable. I have experienced an intense form of loss that I still can’t quite explain. What I didn’t know was that I was experiencing joy through it all. I didn’t know that joy intensifies during suffering and sorrow and that it ultimately led me to Christ.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have those days that are filled with pain. The difference is that now I find joy in knowing how to handle them, having hope and realizing that I am not alone.
I find joy in the confidence of knowing:
- Everything that happens — whether it is good or bad, painful or wonderful — is God’s will.
- I have an Almighty Father that loves me! I trust that there is nothing He won’t do for me if I just ask for it. And, if it’s in accordance with His will, I’ll receive it.
- He sends people into our lives to help us get through the hard days, to build us up when we feel discouraged, and to keep us on the road that God intends us to be on. The road that leads us home…..our eternal home.
- That if I open my Bible and read His living and breathing Word; I will find peace, comfort and hope.
- I am not my own, I was bought and paid for, and everything I do is to show glory to Him.
Knowing the promise that God has for me, my family, and for those who love Him is the reason I have a smile on my face.